Misanthropy Pure

Misanthropy- noun: hatred, dislike, or distrust of humankind.

I hate humanity.

This perfectly describes the last few months of my life. Humanity is so depraved in its mindset, that I can't get away from these terrible feelings of hatred I feel towards them.

I have no Love.

If I hate humanity and the depraved nature of fallen man so much, and I am imperfect in nature just like everyone else, how does God love us still?

Let me repeate: I hate Humanity.

Every minute of every day I am told to look out for myself, care for myself, get ahead for myself, and the minute I start doing that I feel absolutely terrible. The minute my own wants and needs come above others I know I am not loving at all. How can one be selfish and love at the same time?

You can't!

I hate, yes I abhor, humanity in its selfish deprived nature. I do my best to be selfless, always doing my best to be nice, polite, serving others, and it gets you stepped on and crushed, spiritually and mentally. I am sick of meeting so many fake people and hearing of their ideas about what God wants for them, or what they think God is.

God already is.

Your opinion of him if won't change the fact that you are a sinner and need his grace more than you could ever possibly imagine. Without grace I am terrified of what I am as a human. Horrible, Hate-Filled, Loathsome, Un-loving, Disgusting, Unworthy.

I don't deserve grace.

Humanity doesn't deserve grace, and if you think you don't need it, you need to be thrown from you high horse you pharisee.

I can't even express in words how thankful I am for Jesus, the Cross, and God's Unhuman, Miraculus, Perfect, Generous, Complete Love.

I still hate Humanity.

But hopefully through grace, and love, I will someday Be able to not hate it nearly as much as I do now.

Good day,
Austin Death.